We all have something we struggle with that impacts our confidence and self-esteem. If you’re one of 50 to 90% of women affected by stretch marks, you may feel like your self-esteem, quality of life, and behaviors are all dictated by these pesky tiger stripes. Take it from me, I know how frustrating it can be to constantly cover your skin because of embarrassing flaws, skin damage, stretch marks, and signs of aging. As a woman, I’ve dealt with all of it.
My postpartum stretch marks came out of the blue. I struggled with the stress and shame for way too long, before deciding to do something about it. I’d had enough of useless and ineffective beauty products piled up on my vanity. There had to be another way.
I realized that building up my confidence and self-worth was the number one positive change that I could make to feel good about myself and my body.
The truth is that your confidence and self-worth can be impacted by various factors, not just appearance. Sometimes how you feel about yourself is a result of life events that are out of your control, or simply outdated thinking patterns.
In this post, I’m going to help you overcome whatever self-sabotaging obstacles are preventing you from feeling amazing, looking great, and taking action towards your dreams…on your own terms!
Let’s get right on into it.
What Is Confidence?
Confidence is a feeling of certainty and self-assurance. It often results from an appreciation of one’s self and abilities. Confidence is arguably one of the biggest factors in being able to create the life you want. In fact, confidence is tied in directly to how we see ourselves, how we feel about ourselves, and our ability to trust our feelings.
According to Psychology Today, confidence helps you gain credibility with others, make a strong first impression, handle pressure better, and overcome both personal and professional challenges. On the other hand, lack of confidence and low self-esteem can result in a variety of unhealthy habits including sensitivity to criticism, social withdrawal, hostility, and lead to physical symptoms like obesity, depression, anxiety, and even codependency on relationships, alcohol, or drugs.
If your confidence is impacted by your appearance, negative self-talk, or your life-situation - it’s time to do something about it! But, first, let’s narrow down the cause of why you’re not feeling confident in the first place.
5 Reasons Why You’re Not Feeling Confident!
Let’s face it - people often complain about things that they actually have control over. When you have a realistic sense of what you’re capable of, and you feel secure in that knowledge, you then have a healthy sense of who you are and good self-esteem. You feel empowered to take the necessary actions to create the reality you really want. If you feel doubt, insecurity, and fear related to yourself and your abilities, you are unlikely to take positive action that is in alignment with your highest good.
Let’s look at some underlying causes of why you may be struggling with low confidence and self-esteem issues.
1. Your Appearance
One of the biggest reasons why you may not feel confident in your own skin is appearance. Our image has a huge impact on how others perceive us, and respond to us. In fact, within the first 7 seconds of meeting someone, they’ve already shaped their perception of you.
If you struggle with your weight, aging, or skin concerns like stretch marks, scars, acne, or other flaws, it’s normal that your confidence may be impacted. In some cases, it may be easier to do something about it than others. Thankfully, there are plenty of innovative and quick solutions on the market today, that can help you reveal inner and outer beauty, health, and vitality. More on that in the confidence-boosting tool-box below!
We all likely have little kinks about what we’d love to fix about our appearance, but perfectionism can be toxic and destructive. It’s important to distinguish what we can embrace about our bodies, and what we are committed to changing. From there you can have a healthier and more positive approach to feeling confident in your own skin.
2. Your Upbringing
So much of how you are programmed to feel about yourself originates from your childhood. If you were raised with parents who were extremely critical about your decisions, preferences, or feelings, you may have a high degree of criticism towards yourself.
As we’re growing up, our primary authority figures, such as teachers, friends, parents, and the media send us either positive or negative messages about ourselves. If one of those messages is that you are not good enough, likely, this will later be carried on into adulthood.
It’s important to be self-aware and determine which of our thoughts and feelings are authentic and true to us, versus which ones have been adopted from the outside. From there we can choose which beliefs about ourselves are outdated and no longer necessary.
3. Your Life Circumstances
Many circumstances in our life can impact our self-esteem. If we are faced with an ongoing stressful life event it will undoubtedly impact how we view and react to things in our life.
Relationships have a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves because we are a social and communal species. Therefore, a life event like a break-up, divorce, or an abusive relationship can make us feel unworthy, undesirable, and unloved.
By the same token, any situation where we receive poor-treatment whether at home or work, will impact how we see ourselves, our confidence, and self-esteem.
Another big factor for low self-esteem could be career and finances. If you’ve lost a job, went bankrupt, or are in financial trouble your self-worth and self-esteem may be impacted.
It’s important to learn to grow from challenges and allow them to strengthen you. When you learn from your experiences, you can apply that knowledge to create more good for yourself and develop aspects of your life that are important to you.
4. Your Skills, Talents & Abilities
So often we measure our work by our achievements, career, financial standing, or some other external factors. We allow our education to define us, our achievements to rule us, and our external lives to dominate us. We forget that just because we are alive, we are already whole, complete, and worthy.
If you feel that you are lacking in skills, talents, or abilities in your career or at home, you may struggle with self-esteem. The truth is, that the hardest person on you - is you! Sometimes, just doing the best you can is all you can ask of yourself. Other times, it may make sense to go back to school for higher education, master a craft that you’re passionate about, or simply enlist the help of a nanny, tutor, or other professional to help you get to where you want to be.
5. Your Health
If you are struggling with a physical illness or a mental illness, that will likely impact how you view yourself. Our bodies are living and breathing organisms, and they are prone to breaking down. They need tune-ups now and then, as well as kindness, and love.
Oftentimes, we can be extremely hard on ourselves when we’re sick or struggling. If you are super critical of yourself, overly focused on the negative, or blame yourself for what’s going wrong - you’re likely suffering from low self-esteem.
Whether it’s getting the flu, feeling stress, or something more serious like cancer and depression, we must remember to be kind to our bodies and learn from what they are trying to tell us.
How To Feel More Confident In Your Own Skin
Congrats! Since you’re here reading this, that means you’ve taken the first and necessary step towards feeling more confident in your own skin. Here’s a list of some super simple and effective ways to help you get your self-esteem back and feel more confident in your life.
1. Change how you speak to yourself.
Notice the words you use when speaking about yourself - to yourself and to others! Start to speak to yourself with more positivity, kindness, and support. If you’ve made a mistake or didn’t follow through on something, find a way to reframe your perspective into a more self-loving one. If this is something you struggle with, start each day by writing out 5 positive things that you love about yourself, and refer to that list every time you find yourself in a negative cycle.
2. Take Self-Care Extra-Seriously
Life gets busy, and as women, we spend a lot of time taking care of other people. It’s just our nature. However, if we’re not taking care of ourselves it’s not long before we feel depleted, taken-advantage of, resentful, and upset. Remember to take extra time for yourself each day by developing a healthy and loving self-care routine. Whether that’s applying a luxurious skincare routine you love before bed, sipping an herbal tea, or simply sitting by the fireplace with your eyes closed, these little moments will help you build positive and healthy feelings!
3. Stop Judgement & Comparison
Every one of us is 100% unique. And every one of us has our own gifts and beautiful aspects of our being. When we stop to appreciate ourselves just as we are, scales and horns and all, we become more open to gratitude. Gratitude has the power to shift us from self-destructive thoughts and into thoughts that are in alignment with positive growth and healing.
4. Exercise More
Exercise boosts all kinds of positive endorphins and good-feeling hormones! It helps us blow off steam, stay energized, and combat depression and anxiety. If starting a new exercise routine is too intense for you, simply begin with some light stretching, walks around the neighborhood, or getting some extra support by trying out fitness videos on YouTube!
5. Have More Fun
We’re all full of excuses. Little things we tell ourselves that stop us from getting what we truly want. The reality is, when we do things that bring us joy, we feel better about life and ourselves. Sometimes, it’s the little things that make us smile - a pet, a child, a funny show, dancing in your bedroom, or calling a loved one. Don’t put off the things that make you who you are, because it’s those very things that will bring you confidence and self-esteem!
6. Be Assertive & Set Boundaries
As we take the time to get clear on who we are, we must start to communicate our needs, wants, feelings, beliefs, and opinions. As we become more honest and direct with others about who we are, we will develop a greater sense of self and confidence. This can be difficult to do but ultimately leads us in a healthy direction of being able to look out for ourselves and set the proper boundaries in all of our relationships.
Your Confidence-Boosting Tool-Box
To help you on your new path of feeling confident in your own skin, I’ve put together some of my absolute favorite confidence-boosting go-to’s. Use these daily, or when you feel like you need a little extra self-love.
Beautiful Skin At Your Fingertips
Struggling with signs of aging, stretch marks, or other skin issues? Our skin can be a huge blockage to our self-esteem. Innovative, clinically proven products can help you look younger, erase your stretch marks, and reveal beautiful skin!
Dermaclara Enhanced Silicone Fusion™ Stretch Mark Patches can help you regain your confidence and say goodbye to stretch marks, fine lines, or wrinkles. This advanced silicone fusion treatment restores your skin's youthful radiance and creates a perfect microclimate that accelerates collagen production and skin elasticity, revealing smoother skin in as little as one hour!
- Increase collagen production for improved skin elasticity
- 90% of users prefer Silicone Fusion™ stretch mark patches to injections or surgery
- Pregnancy safe, clinically tested, medical-grade, and hypoallergenic
Mind/Body Health From The Comfort Of Your Home
Yoga has been proven to improve focus, clarity of mind, and instill a sense of empowerment. That’s everything you need to increase your confidence level! Whether you prefer a morning session, yoga-on-the-go, or evening release, the Yoga for Beginners | Mind + Body app has handcrafted workouts to get you started on your yoga journey. Clear your mind and access beginner-friendly yoga workouts that are easy to learn and perform. You’ll be able to workout anytime, anywhere, build and customize your yoga workouts, and track workouts, calories, and weight. The best part? All workouts are 100% free.
Yoga for Beginners | Mind + Body app
Take Action & Improve Your Life
Need some extra help and coaching in majorly boosting confidence in every area of your life? Check out this bestselling book by Jen Sincero “You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life”. This book will help you identify and change the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors that stop you from getting what you want, and help you create a life you totally love. And create it NOW!
You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, By Jen Sincero
Reprogram Your Negative Thoughts Today
If you struggle with negative thinking patterns, these positive affirmations can help you build a positive mindset. Delete self-sabotaging beliefs about your body, discover more self-love, release fear or simply work on healing your relationship with money, food, soothing your skin, loving your pregnant body, getting emotional support during pregnancy, receiving migraines and body pain, and so much more!
Ready to Unleash Your Inner Confidence?
The best place to start to unleash inner confidence is right where you’re at! If there’s something that’s stopping you from feeling good about yourself -change it. If there are people who aren’t making you feel good about yourself - move on. If you feel ready to change your life - take action. No man is an island. We all need the help of supportive resources, and tried and tested techniques to help us overcome low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Dermaclara’s got you covered in the skincare department. If you don’t feel confident in your own skin, our skincare products are designed especially for you. We want to help you reveal your inner strength and beauty, with all-natural, safe, and effective skincare products that work. Whether you struggle with stretch marks, acne, wrinkles, sun spots, or dry and dehydrated skin, we can help at www.dermaclara.com